Funeral Services in our Churches
A funeral is a formal recognition that a human life on earth has reached its close. It is the opportunity for friends and family to express their grief, to give thanks for the life which has now completed its journey in this world and to commend the person into God’s keeping.
As far back into history as we can penetrate, human beings seem to have felt the need for a ceremonial leave-taking of those who have died.
The funeral service of the Church of England can be very short and quiet with only a few members of the family present or an occasion of great solemnity with music, hymns and a packed church. It may take place in a parish church such ours, or a crematorium chapel. It may come from the Prayer Book or Common Worship or with the addition of hymns, favourite prayers and readings, an address. It can very appropriately be set into the context of a Communion Service.
Whatever the pattern of service, the words and actions all speak of a loving God and the preciousness to Him of every human being.
Everyone has a right to a funeral in the Church of England, taking place in their parish, whether or not they are a churchgoer. Parish clergy see the taking of funerals as an important part of their work and will gladly give their time to talk to those who are facing loss, to be with them in their pain, and to arrange whatever kind of funeral service is most appropriate.
What happens at the funeral service?
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Entry of the coffin
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Traditionally, the minister meets the coffin at the door of the church or crematorium, or at the graveyard gate, and leads the procession, saying aloud such reassuring sentences from the scriptures as:
‘I am the resurrection and the life,’ says the Lord; ‘he that believes in me, though they die, will live; and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.’
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Alternatively, the coffin may be brought in to church some time before the service (sometimes on the day before the actual service), or the mourners may be seated first: these options avoid processing behind the coffin, which some find distressing, as well as giving time to pray quietly before the service.
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Welcome and introduction
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The minister welcomes those present, introducing the service and says a prayer. Then there might be a hymn. Sometimes, symbols of the person’s life and faith are placed on or near the coffin as part of this. The coffin may be sprinkled with the water of baptism.
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Next comes a prayer for forgiveness, because a sense of letting someone down is often an unspoken thought in people’s minds.
If the family wishes, a Communion service follows. The prayers recall the promise of the resurrection, entrust the dead person to the love and mercy of God and ask for comfort and strength for those who mourn.
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Readings and sermon
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A psalm – perhaps ‘the Lord is my shepherd’ – follows and there are readings that tell of God’s care, and of the hope of eternal life.
A sermon (or ‘tribute’) is spoken about the person who has died. The family or friends might do this, or the minister using notes supplied by the family. There may also be a sermon that remembers the life and work of the dead person, and the great Christian beliefs about life beyond death. Such words can be a comfort and strength to the mourners but sometimes it is felt that the service and the readings from the Bible convey all that needs to be said.
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Prayers
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In the prayers, we give thanks for the life of the person who has died, and pray for God’s presence with those who mourn. The Lord’s Prayer may follow.
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Commendation and farewell
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The minister stands by the coffin and, if appropriate, the mourners may gather round too. A period of silence leads into the prayer of commendation, in which the person who has died is entrusted to the love and mercy of God
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The committal
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The committal is a particularly solemn moment of the funeral service. It takes place either at the graveside or, in the case of a cremation, in the crematorium chapel. Sometime, it occurs in the church itself before the hearse leaves for the crematorium.
In the cemetery, the family will gather round the open grave into which the coffin is lowered and they will hear the words:
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"We now commit his/her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life.
Handfuls of earth may then be scattered on the coffin."
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In a crematorium, the words of committal may be accompanied by the closing of a curtain to hide the coffin from view or the coffin is moved slowly out of sight.
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The committal can be a very emotional moment. Many who are suffering grief find that, even in their sadness, the words of prayer can lift them towards the experience of Christian rejoicing in the knowledge of life beyond death.
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The offering of prayer and the trust that the person is in God’s safe hands can begin the process of healing the grief of loss.
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After the Funeral
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People who have lost someone close to them are often so busy with practical details and arrangements between the death and the funeral that they do not experience the full sense of their loss until later.
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Grieving is a natural and important part of coming to terms with and healing this loss and it may continue for several months. If the clergy are asked, they will try to help. One often finds it is those who have suffered a close bereavement themselves, clergy or lay people, who can most easily offer comfort and support to those who mourn. Sometimes the prayers from the service, a few of which are on this website, may help us find comfort.
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Comfort is also to be found in the promises of Jesus Christ, in the hope of the Resurrection and in the belief that the beloved person is safe in the hands of God. Heal the memories of hurt and failure.
Give us the wisdom and grace to use aright
the time that is left to us here on earth,
to turn to Christ and follow in his steps
in the way that leads to everlasting life.
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Burial and Cremation
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Our Church has graveyard but burials here are only possible if there is an pre-existing family grave. Otherwise, all the burials we organise will take place in one of the local cemeteries here in Ashton. Please talk to us speak to the funeral director of your choice.
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These days, six out of ten funerals make use of the crematorium. Cremation is perfectly acceptable to the Church of England. But it is worth remembering that in the Christian tradition, the funeral ends with burial, either of the body or of the ashes. Crematoria have gardens of rest where they can be buried.
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The burial of ashes often takes place a few days after the funeral, although it may be some considerable time later. A very brief service is usually held at the place of internment if the family wish it, and attending it may serve to mark the end of this immediate – and busy – stage of the grieving process.
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A few Bible readings
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Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd
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The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not lack.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
and leads me beside restful water.
He revives my soul and guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no harm; for you are with me;
your rod and staff, they comfort me.
You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me;
You have anointed my head with oil and my cup shall be full.
Surely, goodness and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
John 6:25–40: Jesus is the bread of life
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Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”
John 14:1–6: Jesus is the way, the truth and the life
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Jesus said, “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And you know the way to the place I am going.”
Thomas said to him, Lord, we know not where you are going; how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no one can come to the Father except by me.”
Revelation 21:1–7: The new heaven and the new earth
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I, John, saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘See, the home of God is among mortals.’
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He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.’
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He said to me: ‘It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.
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Arranging a funeral
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The person who has died may have left a paragraph in their Will describing the sort of funeral arrangements they hoped for. Naturally, the family will want to keep to such arrangements as far as possible.
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Not everyone knows that they have the right to a funeral in their local Parish Church, even if they and the dead person have not been church-goers. Nor do practising Christians always realise that they can have a Communion service as part of the funeral.
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Parish clergy regard the taking of funerals as a very important part of their work. They give a lot of time to visiting families, comforting those who are facing loss, finding out what service they want to use and helping them to arrange it.
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If you would like us to take the funeral service of a loved one who has died, please contact us here before any other funeral arrangements are made to make sure one is free and available. If the priest did not know the dead person, then it would help to provide some details, especially if there is to be an address (which is the same thing as a eulogy or appreciation).
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The funeral director plays a very important part in all these arrangements and will want to know if the funeral is to be in the Parish Church or if the vicar is to take the service in the local crematorium. Funeral directors know the local clergy, the local cemeteries and the crematoria. As part of a national network of funeral directors, they can, if necessary, give advice on funerals in other parts of the country, as well as details of costs and fees.
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Questions of life and death
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The first page of the Funeral service – the reading said quietly beforehand – says:
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God’s love and power extend over all creation. Every life, including our own, is precious to God. Christians have always believed that there is hope after death as in life, and that there is new life in Christ after death
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The funeral service will reflect the personality of the one who has died and the circumstances of their death. Feelings of grief, gratitude, joy and sadness often intermingle.
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Sometimes, a sense of tragedy is uppermost, especially when it is a young person who has died. When it is the end of a long and fruitful life, the feelings of thanksgiving can be strongest.
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There are times when the death of a faithful Christian seems to be the consummation of all they have lived for and the funeral service is a triumphal departure for their true home. As for Christian in The Pilgrim’s Progress, ‘all the trumpets sound for them on the other side’.
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Funeral services always raise profound questions about the meaning of life and death. Jesus himself believed in a life-giving God: ‘the God of the living, not of the dead.’ Christians believe that Christ’s resurrection is the triumph of good over evil and of life over death and has made eternal life available to us.
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All through history, Christian doctrine has wrestled with the mysteries which are known as the four last things: heaven, hell, death and judgement. We know that everybody will be judged by God and the relationship between God’s love and His judgement and mercy is one of the constant themes of Christian writing.
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What heaven is like, none of us dare say too precisely but we know that we shall delight in the presence and love of God and of the whole company of heaven. Whatever is wonderful about life here on earth is only a glimpse of the glory of the life that is to come.
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Most Christians would describe hell as separation from that love of God. The separation is never what God wants; rather, it is our own responsibility.
What happens after we die remains a mystery. Some Anglicans believe in Christ’s continuing power beyond death to cleanse us of our sins and bring us into the closer presence of God. That is why those of the more Catholic tradition pray for those who are dead.
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Evangelical Anglicans, who emphasise that eternal life depends on decisions of faith taken in this world, see no justification in the New Testament for such prayers with regard to those who have died, apart from prayers of thanksgiving.
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Planning the funeral service
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There is a very clear framework for the Funeral Service, but there are many possibilities and choice within this. Each funeral service is different, and reflects the personality of the person who has died and the circumstances surrounding their death. Our parish priests will be happy to advise you in choosing suitable readings, hymns and prayers, and in ensuring that the life of the person who has died is celebrated and remembered appropriately.
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Please do not hesitate to voice your queries, concerns and special requests.
Church of England Funeral services are particularly sensitive in their provision for funerals of children, and those who have died in especially distressing circumstances, such as an accident, or an act of violence, or suicide.
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If the person who has died is a regular communicant, the funeral may take the form of a service of Holy Communion, helping people focus on the death and resurrection of Christ, and proclaiming our unity with those who have died in Christ.
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Prayers
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A promise of hope
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I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
– St Paul’s Letter to a church in Rome (Romans 8:38-39)
A prayer
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Support us, O Lord, all the day long of this troublous life, until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes, the busy world is hushed, the fever of life is over and our work is done.
Then, Lord, in your mercy grant us a safe lodging,
a holy rest, and peace at last; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen. Father, you know our hearts and share our sorrows.
We are hurt by our parting from (person’s name) whom we loved:
when we are angry at the loss we have sustained,
when we long for words of comfort, yet find them hard to hear,
turn our grief to truer living, our affliction to firmer hope, in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Heavenly Father, you have not made us for darkness and death,
but for life with you for ever.
Without you, we have nothing to hope for;
with you, we have nothing to fear.
Speak to us now your words of eternal life.
Lift us from anxiety and guilt to the light and peace of your presence,
and set the glory of your love before us;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.